Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Hope your experience is less interesting than mine...
Steps to changing oil in a garden tractor:
1. Put drain pan under petcock.
2. Open petcock and remove oil filter.
3. After oil is drained, close petcock and put on new, oil-filled filter.
4. Check oil level.
5. Go mow lawn.
6. Drive back to barn an hour and a half later and realize you never removed oil drain pan used in step 1 from underneath the tractor. The plastic pan is now mangled beyond recognition.
8. A lot.
9. Spread 25 lbs of oil-dri on the floor to clean up the Exxon Valdez-esque spill you created.
10. Cuss some more.
11. Drink a beer.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
As we all know, a fly is called a "fly".
So why then, isn't a bird called a fly, and the fly, for instance, a "buzzer", instead?
And why isn't an earthworm called a "squiggler"?
And why isn't John Murtha called an "ignorant, fat-a**ed, Kerryesqe, loud-mouthed, unstable, traitorous, commie POS who deserves the death-penalty for treason"?
I mean, besides by myself and other cool bloggers.
(Picture courtesy of my buddy Pete, at ihillary).
Monday, June 26, 2006
Ya know, the pro-American, pro-worker, pro-union, pro-manufacturing party.
I guess the double-standards don't end just with race, religion, gender, income, and sexual proclivities for the Democrats.
Democrats Show Their Bias Against American Automakers.
Another example of bias against american automakers and ass kissing of the asian automakers. Senators are ripping american automakers for their dismissing the Senates efforts to unrealistically raise gas mileage standards while kissing the asian auto makers ass saying that they could do it so why can't american automakers do it. Except they never checked with asian automakers for their opinions on raising the standards before making that statement.Detroit's automakers should raise gas mileage requirements by 40 percent or face extinction, a key U.S. senator said Tuesday in a tongue-lashing of the industry for its failure to embrace fuel efficiency in the past.
So senators feel they are in the business of putting businesses out of business.
Feinstein heaped praise on Toyota.I was going to comment on this, but Quality Weenie couldn't have said it better.
"Increasingly, it's becoming the dominant global force in the auto industry," she said.
Ass kissing by democrats at it's finest.But Toyota declined to endorse the proposal.
Jo Cooper, Toyota's group vice president for government affairs, said there were questions about the feasibility of the bill.
"That's a huge number. It doesn't sound like much, but that's a huge leap forward," Cooper said.
A strong bitch slap delivered by Toyota.
Go read the whole thing here:
Sunday, June 25, 2006
At Mr Completely's is the pistol match, Flyswatter II.
And Carnaby Fudge is sponsoring the Walk the Line, with a Cold Fire bonus match this month.
It also has a pistol shooter's option.
Also, the Gunbloggers' Rendevous at Circus Circus in Reno, Nevada is still on for this fall.
And last, but most certainly not least, Og's the Midwest Blogmeet is coming up July 14, 15, 16th.
To get on the mailing list for info, go here: Midwest Blogmeet/Will at Entropy Manor.
Hop to it!!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
I'm driving my American-made, 4WD pickup truck, on the road I actually live on.
I'm listening to Sean Hannity.
I have guns, and ammo on board.
Lots of guns.
Lots of ammo.
I'm going to my outdoor bullseye shoot.
I hate whiny, leftist hippies.
I love Jesus, my family and America.
Life is good.
I pull up to the two-way stop (sign); the first traffic device in 5 miles.
As I am ready to restart my journey (after a complete stop, of course), I note that I cannot, as there is another car coming down the road, precluding my proceeding along my merry, firearms-filled way.
Now two vehicles meeting at the same time at this intersection is unlikely, but certainly not unheard of. But here is where it gets freaky.
Not only was there a vehicle approaching from my left, but there was another one behind it!
And one at the stop sign on the other side coming my way!!
And then there was another one approaching from the left at the same time.
THAT'S FIVE (5) VEHICLES AT THE INTERSECTION, DANGIT!!!
Not one or two.
FIVE VEHICLES, PEOPLE!!!!!
It took me almost 34 seconds from the time I stopped until I got to drive through the intersection! I don't have that kind of time to burn for stupid traffic.
My only explanation: A wormhole transported this huge traffic jam from New York city, or maybe Chicago.
I blame global warming.
How far away do I have to move to get away from all this stressful traffic?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Submitted for your approval: A tasty sammich; a man; a mystery....
Next stop, the CUG Zone...
I think I have a ghost in my house.
It was very strange this morning.
It was dark and stormy.
Lightening was flashing and the thunder was grumbling and booming; the house trembled.
There was an almost palpable tension in the air.
There was unease, nay fear, hanging in the dank gloom of the early morn.
The lights flickered, threatening to go out, but not fulfilling their implied promise of darkness and hopelessness.
The satellite picture was intermittent, interrupting my normal
I was making a turkey sandwich on the kitchen counter to take to work for lunch.
Suddenly, I had a nature call.
I left the sandwich, with its generous mound of decomposing turkey flesh (mmmmmm...), on the counter, to await the final construction and packaging phase, which would involve much bacon (surprise!) and lettuce.
After peeing, and thanking the good Lord for not hitting my plumbing (literally and figuratively) with lightning while I was doing so, I washed my hands.
(Yes, I am not only witty, but hygienic as well.)
I returned to the kitchen, sensing something was amiss, and much to my dismay, I found that with nary a sound nor any other obvious indicator, my sammich had disappeared!
I looked hither.
I looked yon.
But to no avail.
Note: The following picture is not an actual picture of the AWOL sammich in question, but an artistically masterful and realistic re-creation of the missing delicacy (*sniff*):
It looked so happy and carefree....
Here is shocking, indisputable photographic evidence of the missing lunch staple and its paranormal implications; it was right here! (For you hippies, please note there is no sandwich in the picture, as it is missing.)
Of course, I immediately reached for my weapons, as apparently a dangerous, ravenous interloper had surreptitiously made his way into my humble (yet tastefully decorated) abode!!!
But then, as I quickly swung around with shotgun and pistol at the ready (I'm moderately ambidextrous), I suddenly thought to myself,
"Self, your two dogs, one of whom coincidentally has a head that is countertop height when standing, would have barked and howled and snarled and yipped at, and then bitten and ultimately rent asunder, any intruder whom may have breached the intrinsic security mechanisms of your domicile, and who then might have subsequently tried to pilfer the tasty, meat-laden repast in question".
There would have been no way I could have missed the ensuing canine cacophony, had someone entered with nefarious, luncheon-meat filching intentions.
An intruder would have met with something akin to this:
A full-on Jake-assault!!!
Thus, the only logical conclusion is (thank you Occam!), understandably, that a hungry, ill-mannered ghost has nestled into my culinary haven, without so much as a please or thank you.
Maybe I need an exorcist.
(Now why does Jake look so happy?)
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I am the last hold-out of 5 children in my family that does not own a cell phone.
The last one to fall was my brother that works at the same plant as I do.
I've said I have managed my whole life without one, and really don't want another $40-$60 monthly bill for something I would rarely use.
But looking at the above phone, I may have to reconsider my stance.
I think this is how I'll answer it:
(With apologies to Dirty Harry Callahan.)
"I know what you're thinking: 'Did he answer after six rings or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .45 ACP, the most popular handgun round in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
Or I guess I could just say "Hello?", too.
Monday, June 19, 2006
If you say crap like this:
(from The Peninsula Online)
Seoul • North Korea yesterday threatened to “mercilessly wipe out” US forces in case of war during a national meeting to mark leader Kim Jong-Il’s 42 years’ work at the ruling party.
“If the enemies ignite a war eventually, the Korean army and people will mercilessly wipe out the aggressors and give vent to the deep-rooted grudge of the nation,” ...Does poofy hair make you wack, or what?
As an added bonus, here is some advice from the new Japanese appeasement 101 class:
[Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso] voiced concern about the possibility of a missile landing on Japan, but toned down a remark made in an earlier interview that Japan would automatically regard this as an attack. “We will not right away view it as a military act,” he said.
A military missle, from a hostile foreign country's millitary lands on your soil, and you won't concede that's that's a military act.
Holy crap!! Aso is a Democrat!!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
The pistol match this month is those dang flies, in Flyswatter II.
The rifle match (which DOES have a pistol category!) is called Walk the Line, with a Cold Fire bonus!!!
Also, the Gunbloggers' Rendevous at Circus Circus in Reno, Nevada is coming up.
Still trying to figure if I can go. But you go there no matter what!!!
And don't forget Og's the Midwest Blogmeet is coming up July 14, 15, 16th.
To get on the mailing list for info, go here: Midwest Blogmeet/Will at Entropy Manor.
Go arm yourselves now, and get to a-shootin'!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I'm getting ready to settle in for the night, and I was rounding up what I was going to have with me whilst I sit in my recliner.
And then I noticed it.
By virtue of my collection of recliner paraphernalia.
I am one diverse m-f.
Not just part-time sissy "oh aren't those homos quaint but let's move on" diverse.
But I have big-time, manly super-cool big-tent embrace the outsiders diversedness!
I don't think I could be any more diverse, unless I was
How diverse am I?
Let's break it down from left to right.
First, at the left we have an AMERICAN beer.
Oh, I know.
Buying American is passé, and lame, and just plain out of fashion, but that is how I celebrate diversitanity.
I don't care what is "in".
I just care (not CAIR) about what is right.
I just happen to work in America, too.
So I keep my eye out....
The beer is Sam Adam's BLACK Lager.
Not Irish stout.
Not Canadian ale.
Not German Pilsner.
Not 3rd Reich Aryan KKK Robert Byrd white-bread, white-trash beer.
Sweet black, black lager (and man is it ever tasty, too!!!).
It's like a Ken Blackwell conservative kind of black.
(Whom, by the way, if you don't vote for him this November, you're a total racist!).
I am the epitome of diversination.
Next, we have Ann Coulter's newest offering, Godless: The Church of Liberalism.
In case you haven't noticed, Ann is a woman.
A real person, sans penis.
You know, the downtrodden gender.
A strong, independent, outspoken, rich woman.
Kind of like Oprah.
Now granted (of course), they both want me.
However, they can't have me, as I am totally (and happily) taken.
I can not be purchased.
(See fine print for rental details.)
I am a man (and then some); ergo, this is proof I embrace diversination, because I bought a strong, leggy, independent woman's book, and because I am not intimidated by her, and I am not a misogynist.
Plus, let's face it, she's pretty cool.
Diversocity is my middle name.
Disclaimer: I will admit part of the impetus for this purchase was pure, unadulterated, altruistic spite.
Just to piss off hippies, Hillary, and the New York Times.
And also to legitimately inflate Ann's sales numbers.
And yes, I have ALL of her books (including one that is autographed).
Lastly, in this picture of diversonomics, we have a 9mm Smith and Wesson Lady Smith, Model 3913.
Diversiveniss reflected in a firearm selection?
Let's run the numbers -
The 9mm round is kind of gay.
Not bad for a back up, but for a primary offensive/defensive choice, it's a little bit of a girly round.
But check it, yo: I'm comfortable with that, especially when it is just the one at hand, and not the main defensive implement(s).
Just like I am totally comfortable being an exceedingly attractive, yet manly, heterosexual (totally) kind of guy.
This implement was also MADE IN AMERICA.
Furthermore, the weapon is NOT white.
It's kind of an off silver, stainless-steel colour.
(Note how I spelled colour; reaching out to feriners that can't spell!)
A little gay (in the proper context), effeminate (Lady Smith - thanks Sean!), American made, non-white AND reaching out to feriners!
This constitutes MONDO DIVERSITUDINESS on my part.
In my defense, this weapon is light, slim, has low recoil, and is easily concealable, accurate and dependable.
Plus, it is quite an attractive piece, much like myself.
Additionally, I bought it off of A WOMAN!!!
A real one!
I should, like, get a huge diversity prize or award or something.
Maybe the prize could be a really cool rifle or something!!!
Maybe Rosie O'donnell and Katie Couric can present it to me!!!
My cup runneth over with diversitosity.
It's just amazing how one can look at the simplest things in one's life, and see the wellspring of good will, cold beer, diversitude, and pretty, pretty shiny firearms.
And don't forget to vote for Ken Blackwell in November, or you're a total racist.
I came across this article and a couple of lines caught my eye.
Activists Jeer Clinton Over Iraq Stance
Kerry, who was widely criticized as the party's standard-bearer in 2004 for being too cautious in his criticism of the war, said Tuesday that politicians "cannot have it both ways."
BWHAHAHAHA!!! John "I voted for before I voted against" Ferry is saying that?!?!?!
Now THAT'S funny!!!
You think it's a coincidence that they're called JK Flip-Flops?
I say they're aptly named.
(Of course, this is only funny if you're a total geek.)
And from the Lizard Queen (same article, same dirty-f***ing-hippie/destroy America fest):
"I do not think it is a smart strategy, either, for the president to continue with his open-ended commitment, which I think does not put enough pressure on the new Iraqi government," said Clinton, before turning to the anti-war liberals' core beef with her.
"Nor do I think it is smart strategy to set a date certain. I do not agree that that is in the best interests," said Clinton, prompting loud booing from some at the gathering.
So what the hell do you think then, other than "Bush is wrong, no matter what"?
Time limit bad; no time limit bad. Republicans bad.
They say these things out loud, and with a straight face.
And lefties eat it up!
People vote for these transparent asshats.
Kool-Aid should be a controlled substance, apparently.
Not too bad (yet not the coveted FIRST! place).
But the cool part was, someone (who just memed me, BTW!!!) was conspicuously missing from the top 10.
I wonder who it could be...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
turned me on to this essay:
It's well worth the time to read, and I must say that I am in agreement with it, to say the least.
A short excerpt (which is towards the end of the post):
Battered Conservative Syndrome
Yet rather than stand up to the bullying use of victimhood as a weapon, many pundits and bloggers on the right have instead joined the liberal dogpile on Ann Coulter. The response of conservatives matches that of Matt Lauer: who cares whether Coulter's critique is right or wrong? Those poor women have suffered! How dare she add to their grief?
They join the liberals in attacking Coutler for malfeasance of rhetoric; in this, conservatives are showing classic symptoms of Battered Spouse Syndrome. Huddled in a defensive crouch, they labor to prove that they are too decent, they are so sympathetic -- they attack Coulter to prove their own chivalric honor. They become "enablers" of liberal griefarazzi.
Many conservatives have let themselves be ensnared by the "infallibility of grief" gambit. Like suckers who give money to the woman with the baby she rents by the hour, conservatives who attack Ann Coulter, without regard to the point she makes, prove the utter truth of that point: the reflexive, Lorelei power of the whimper of whipped dogs. And like Odysseus, if they don't stop their ears or lash themselves to the mast, they will wreck upon the rocks.
Rocks are a b**ch.
Go read the whole thing. I especially like the Oprah Winfrey example, and it might ring a bell with you, too.
Monday, June 12, 2006
From Fox News (and the AP):
Foiled Burglar Sues Store Employees for 'Emotional Distress'
Sunday, June 11, 2006
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A man who was beaten by employees of a store he was trying to rob is now suing.
Police say Dana Buckman entered the AutoZone in Rochester, New York, last July, brandished a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash.
That's when employees Eli Crespo and Jerry Vega beat him with a pipe and held Buckman at bay with his own gun.
All right Eli and Jerry!! Thank you for your public service.
Lord knows we need more bad-asses on the side of good!
If I see you, I'll buy you a beer.
Buckman escaped when they retreated into the store to call 911, but he was arrested a week later.Nice work, loser-boy.
He pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery and was sentenced to 18 years in prison as a repeat violent felon.
A repeat violent offender. Hmmmm.
I'm starting to feel sympathetic towards the robber now.
I mean, he obviously has "repeat violent offending asshat disorder".
He needs therapy.
Like ching-ching-pow, perhaps.
18 years? He'll probably be out in 2.
Now Buckman is suing the auto parts store and the two employees who beat him, claiming they committed assault and battery and intentionally inflicted emotional distress.Thus, scwaping his widdle knee, and hewting his widdle feewings.
Good luck on your lawsuit thats premise is - someone made you look like a big dumbass.
Which you are.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Yes, it is real, and here is the link:
Come Back With A Warrant Doormat.
Can I get this with fine print at the bottom that says,
"And if you want my guns, you'd better pack a freakin' lunch!" ?
If this was at William Jeffersons house, would it say
"You have no authority to search me, warrant or no" or maybe just simply
"Above the Law"?
Hat tip to borderline anarchist, DB.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
At least I have opposable thumbs!
Our cat, Crisco (named so because she's fat in the can) has the wife, daughter and myself trained quite well.
Whenever her food dish is empty, she goes over and presses the buttons on the answering machine, making it squawk and beep and talk and whatever.
Because of the proximity of the answering machine relative to the television set, it is very annoying.
This is because it interrupts us watching Fox News, Ann Coulter interviews, or The Patriot DVD.
We now react quickly, because the "stoopid" cat won't stop until you throw something at her (not a wife-approved move) or fill her food dish.
It is fun to watch us "higher beings" instantly respond to this "lesser animal".
The bad part is, when we're not home, Crisco will turn off the machine, or turn down the volume so it doesn't audibly enunciate new messages with a beep, when someone gets home.
Missed messages (or none at all) are par for the course.
Or is she.....?
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
It is also the target for the latest ePostal Shooting Contest,
e-POSTAL Pistol MATCH: FLYSWATTER II, over at my friend Mr. Completely's place!!
The whole target (here if you want to download it) has twenty flies on it, and was the first ePostal contest I ever shot.
Incidentally, my wife and I mistakenly shot at the wrong distance, thereby disqualifying ourselves, but still rated an honorable mention.
Thus, the ePostal Contest at Mr. Completely's started me down a path of fun, challenge, and great monetary expense.
I shot this first contest and realized 3 things:
1. I love to shoot. I always have, but I had forgotten how much I did enjoy it.
2. I totally suck at shooting, and need to practice (see number 1).
3. Practicing makes me a better shot, and it involves shooting more. (See number one).
And interestingly, the one who told me about it was noneother than the famous Mensa Barbie (who used to comment here!).
Also, Sailor Curt of Captain of a Crew of One has the results for the latest
e-Postal Rifle Match: Cricket
There was a pistol option in this contest (Class 3), and the above target is the perfect score I shot (see the rules over at the contest post).
While I like first place, I just BARELY beat Mr. C. and he was shooting freehand, compared to me shooting off of a bench rest. Not really a fair comparison (although within the rules).
So you know what that means.
You guessed it - more practice!
Finally, a big thank you should go out to Mr. Completely and Sailor Curt!
Now go shoot some targets!! Mr. C is talking about dropping the contest!!!
YOU GO NOW!!!
e-POSTAL Pistol MATCH: FLYSWATTER II
and don't forget the rifle match, either!!!
Rifle e-Postal Match for June: Walk the Line
Come on shooters! Bring a non-shooter with you and train them to be a safe shooter! More shooters means more fun and more safety. YAY!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Gore: Bush is 'renegade rightwing extremist'
Oliver Burkeman and Jonathan Freedland
Wednesday May 31, 2006
Al Gore has made his sharpest attack yet on the George Bush presidency, describing the current US administration as "a renegade band of rightwing extremists".
Bush? George W. Bush?
THE George W. Bush?
Mr. I've never met a spending bill I didn't like?
Mr. I've heard of a veto, but don't know how to use it?
Mr. I'll sign the gay, unconstitutional "assault" weapons ban if it comes across my desk?
Mr. I'll spend more money and grow government more than any of my predecessors?
Mr. Let's give amnesty and lots of perks to illegals that legal citizens don't get?
Al, you're past believability.
You're just another dirty hippie in a suit.
I used to hate you; now I just pity you.
Get some therapy, you asshat.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Well, it looks like it's the weekend of the 14, 15, and 16 of July for the Midwest Blogmeet, courtesy of Og at Neanderpundit, of course.
Shooting will be at Buffalo Range, in Ottawa, Illinois.
If you're interested, Will of Entropy Manor (love that name) has a post where you can leave a comment and get on an email list for the latest info and updates.
It is here: Midwest Blogmeet.
This could be quite the ATF party!!!
Just not in that order.
And I quit smoking.
But I don't care if you do!
Also, to my knowledge, no actual BATF members will be there.
So let's go!!!
How come I never heard any Dems whining about how these asshats disenfranchised voters?
4 get jail in election day tire slashing
By MEG JONES
Posted: April 26, 2006
Tossing aside a plea agreement that called for probation, Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Michael B. Brennan sentenced four Democratic Party workers to jail Wednesday for slashing tires on 25 vans rented by Republicans to take voters to polls for the 2004 presidential election.
Calling the vandalism more than harmless hijinks, Brennan admonished the men, including the sons of two prominent Milwaukee politicians, for disenfranchising voters. The judge said he had received letters from county residents upset over the crime.
"They see you tampering with something they consider sacred, and that's the ballot box," Brennan said during a two-hour sentencing.
At the time of the pleas, Assistant District Attorney David Feiss said that if the defendants collectively paid $5,317.45 restitution by their sentencing Wednesday - which they did - he would recommend they all get probation. Misdemeanor property damage carries a possible maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a $10,000 fine.
But Brennan said stiffer punishment was needed.
"This case has to be an example of what happens if you interfere in voters' rights," Brennan said.
Now I remember why.
The standard old double standard.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
The following post, and the above picture are from my buddy Pete, at iHillary.
After you read this, go check him out.
He da man.
At Least They're Consistent
Posted by Mithridate Ombud on May 23, 2006 - 12:59.
Courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.
Following are some of the Chicken Little writings of the New York Times and Time Magazine over the years.
Time, Sept. 10, 1923: "The discoveries of changes in the sun's heat and the southward advance of glaciers in recent years have given rise to conjecture of the possible advent of a new ice age."
NYT, Sept. 18, 1924: "MacMillan Reports Signs of New Ice Age."
NYT, March 27, 1933: "America in Longest Warm Spell Since 1776; Temperature Line Records a 25-Year Rise."
Time, Jan. 2, 1939: "Gaffers who claim that winters were harder when they were boys are quite right ... weather men have no doubt that the world at least for the time being is growing warmer."
Time, June 24, 1974: "Climatological Cassandras are becoming increasingly apprehensive, for the weather aberrations they are studying may be the harbinger of another ice age."
NYT, May 21, 1975: "Scientists Ponder Why World's Climate is Changing; A Major Cooling Widely Considered to Be Inevitable."
Time, April 9, 2001: "(S)cientists no longer doubt that global warming is happening, and almost nobody questions the fact that humans are at least partly responsible."
NYT, Dec. 27, 2005: "Past Hot Times Hold Few Reasons to Relax About New Warming."
Anyone who says the Earth will get (circle one) hotter/colder is right, given enough time. We've had ice ages, little ice ages, as well as warming periods. None of them were caused by humans.
Why is this any different?
Any comments from the treehuggers?
Maybe - But this time they're really right!!! ?
Great find Pete.
And great a picture...